The second defining chapter involved my stepfather’s suicide in 2009. My biological dad was killed by a drunk driver when I was just 2, so my stepdad (who came into my life when I was 3) was the only father I’ve really ever known.
His decision to end his life shook me to the core. In the wake of his death, I moved, started grad school, and attended his funeral — all in a 10-day span.
I had become an avid road biker in the years before his death and quickly turned to my bike for healing. Long rides on the backcountry roads of Gainesville, FL were therapeutic to me. A few months later, I decided I was going to spend the next summer bicycling the transamerica trail — a 4200 mile route across the United States. I’d ride east to west, starting in Chesapeake Bay, Virginia and ending in Florence, Oregon.
This would be the ultimate therapy, I thought. Two months of solo, self-supported bicycling and camping across the country.
Two and a half months before my planned launch date, I was struck by a truck… while on a training ride. My bike frame was shattered and my helmet cracked. The incident left me with two herniated discs in my neck, but nothing that would stop me from my transam mission. As planned, on May 15, I dipped my rear wheel in Chesapeake Bay and began my 75-day journey across the country. On August 1, I reached the Pacific Ocean, a completely transformed person.
The first half of my ride was alone, grinding out miles, camping in city parks and the lawns of police stations, and showering in lakes and rivers. The experience was a wild departure from anything I’d previously done. While the solo part of the trip was necessary and transformative, I was blessed with the company of others shortly after crossing into Wyoming.
Over a week, a small group of other transam riders formed around me. We had all started the journey solo but welcomed the company of each other for the last part of the ride. I immediately loved the camaraderie of the group, the sense that while we were each on our own, personal journey, we were working together toward the common mission of reaching the Pacific coast.
The transam was transformative to me in many ways, and it was what really sparked my adventure bug. I’d always worked out and used fitness as a way to manage stress (and help keep the ulcerative colitis at bay), but this experience was something completely different. The transam revealed to me the mighty healing power of doing something extraordinarily difficult. I was only 27 and had never bike toured or camped by myself, and went into the ride with some nerves and trepidation.
I wasn’t sure if I would actually have the guts to do the whole thing, but not only did I prove to myself that I did, but I also finished in the exact timeframe I had planned (granted, I had to pull a few 100+ mile days at the end to make that happen!).
